You are Boring

I haven't posted in ages. This is probably because I have had nothing interesting to say... This is probably not that interesting either, but I thought I'd write it anyway. Here goes.

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I joined an parenting forum. I didn't know many people in my situation (i.e. about to have a baby therefore not up for nightclubbing and clothes shpooing every week, etc), so I thought that it would be a good way to meet some new people and get more informed about babies and kids, etc.

Overall, the experience has been positive, but recently there seem to have been some rule changes that I was not aware of when I signed up. It seems that to be a member of this mothers forum, you must now:
1) Be a perfect mother (in every way - God help you if you have ever smacked or raised your voice to you child in frustration - if you've done this, we don't want to know you).
2) Be a perfect wife/partner (and you husband/boyfriend better be too - total respect for each other all the time, no temper tantrums or stuff-ups allowed)
3) You must be perfect in every way (and not only must you never make a mistake, you must never have made a mistake)
At least, that's how some of the posts come across. It's amazing how judgmental people can be if they think that they know the answer to your particular problem and then go on to make you feel bad for having the problem in the first place...

It used to make me feel bad. It used to make me feel like I am the worst person in the world, when I posted to this forum, venting about my problems and asking of advice and basically getting answers that said "suck it up, it's all your own fault, you deserve it". And I'm not the only one being treated like this. Whenever I post to this forum these days, I am starting to feel like a defense lawyer (not that I've ever been a defense lawyer or anything, but I imagine it would be similar). So many times I feel the need to defend someone who is basically being made out to be an unfit mother who doesn't love let alone want her children just because she is struggling and asking for advice. Sheesh. It's exhausting...

Like I said, it used to make me feel bad until I realised something. We were not put on this world to be perfect. We were put here to learn. We should not expect to be perfect. Ever. It is something that we can strive for, but I don't think that a human could ever achieve it. So all these mothers posting about "you should never yell at your toddler" and "if my husband said that to me I would walk straight out and never come back", etc, I say pooey to you. 1) I don't believe you. I don't believe that you have NEVER lost it with your child. I don't believe that you would seriously walk out on your marriage because of one bad thing said or done. And 2) if you're honestly telling the truth, then I think you are boring. It is through our mistakes that we learn. It is the things that go wrong that make us really appreciate the things that go right. If you've never made a mistake, you haven't lived.

Some of these things that these mothers write about are good things to strive for. Yes, you shouldn't yell at your child. But you will only learn this through trial and error until you work out the best coping strategies for you and your family. Yes, you shouldn't let your partner disrespect you, but you can only learn this by learning what respect and disrespet actually mean. If anyone can truly learn these things without some kind of direct experience, then kudos to you, but honestly, unless you fall on your own arse, I don't think that you can truly learn. So give others a break and let them learn at their own pace, at their own time. After all, no matter what you say, I know you're not perfect either.